you know how in forgetting sarah marshall jason segel’s character kinda falls into a funk after sarah dumps him? sadly i think im going through that. also im very sick so that doesnt help much either. i feel very unkempt, pleasantly plump from holiday food, and im seeing a whole lot of my family. ive been wearing my american flag onesie damn near all week! and my tunnel vision makes it hard for me to even pursue someone new. my humor is skewed, im sort of turning into that asshole with dark jokes. i sort of feel like my mojo is gone and if anyone tried talking to me i wouldnt have anything witty or fun to say back. probably just a “heh..i know right?” why am i acting like a middle age fuck ass who just got out of a 15 year relationship? i just feel very useless. the absence of friends makes it even harder because i feel even more insignificant. celebration of the new year doesnt look very promising with my fatigue and lack of enthusiasm. it seems drugs will most likely celebrate for me while my mind seems completely preoccupied with figuring out how to escape this newly dumped funk. ive been around my family for a week and im sort of feeling like i can go a few months not seeing them haha. im thankful that theyve kept me busy during these times.

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