this semester has been a drought of creativity. i feel so dry, so uninspired..just trying to make it through this last year of school. i can feel myself on the cusp of losing my sanity these last few weeks but i sort of just look the other way and go on about my business. i cannot stress how much time i dont have.. then eventually ill have too much time. im so tired of feeling sorry for myself, bleeh. not sure how to go about everything.. all these decisions need to made sometime soon and i feel like im just flipping coins trying to figure out what to do.
im trying to figure out what the issue is this semester. it might be because of my job and the feelsies. i would just really love to feel something other than weary and anxious..paranoid. ugh feelings. they make me do such stupid things. i have the worst tunnel vision ever. i think i m retarded or something. i register things so differently. im always acting like everyones against me, like people are out to get me. i need to just chill the fuck out and make some amazing artsy shit. cuz right now im just looking like a biggole cunt on the internet. and i still dont understand why i had 30+ views on my blog last week. nobody should read this filthy high schoolesque blog. all i do is cry about my feelings and how much i miss my ex girlfriend. mmmmeeeeerrrrppppp.