i really do feel like my life is being played out as if i were in a movie starring myself. man i have been through the motions. i feel like you reach a certain age when you recognize how much you’ve been through and how much time has passed since. so weird that parents have been through it. i dunno i have so much respect for myself that i assume those younger than me know less that what i know haha. pretty arrogant mentality, but its like so much can happen in a few years. i sort of feel like im slowly developing compared to those my sisters age and what not.
i feel old because i remember being younger and seeing stuff like “30 year anniversary”. whenever i see this, a sort of denial kicks in where im like, “the goonies was only made 15 years ago.” or my favorite disney movie was made when i was 4 and i still feel like it wasnt made so long ago since i remember so much. UGH memories. mental evidence of what shaped your current persona. i definitely notice the “stages” in my life.. the high school sweetheart, the heartbroken cousin, the infatuated best friend, the party girl, the curious one, the emotionally ripped girlfriend, the girlfriend, and now… i feel like im just a working girl. haha. 2013 started off so…differently. i was by myself. it makes me wonder whats going to happen this year. a new chapter in my life is emerging, theres a daunting feeling that this era of me is coming to an end.
man if this isnt the most narcissistic blog! haha dizzam im all by myself singing “Me time….” hahaha in my tyler perry zone. maaaaan