i feel so excited for no reason. i can feel myself adapting to this new lifestyle and it feels better. sometimes ill feel a little ping of hurt but it’s comparable to a papercut.. just something at the back of your mind, its not severe, its just annoying to have around. anyway i think im developing this new sort of optimistic feeling. this is honestly the easiest break up lol like i still get super sad, but it really doesnt feel as severe as my previous relationships. sometimes i think about the good times but i do think about all the doubts i carried during the relationship. sort of like the doubts i had about my high school boyfriend being straight. just little things that you ignore. but they pile up. and it feels better not having that baggage. im still lonely as fuck, but at least im more chill about it. im suuch a relationship person. i just want someone i can talk to all the time, bring everywhere, and fuck whenever. god i havent had sex in so long. it fucking sucks. but i know id rather do it with someone i have feelings for than just a random fuck. random fucks are awkward..as fuck. 90% of the time they suck and the person attractive level receives a massive drop. daaaah where is my distraction!