my friend has a place in the mission that i just love cooping myself in. it’s so small, smaller than my dorm room freshman year in college. i’d say no bigger than 10 by 10..maybe smaller. super high ceilings though. you could hang a hammock near the ceiling and still have room to walk around. its so…comfy. whenever im there i let myself melt away into his covers. he has big plushy goose feathered blankets that i love wrapping and rolling my legs around. he has only one window which actually leads to a small open space with an opening up top for light to barely trickle in. when i wake up i never know what time it is. the concept of time is lost…and i fucking love it. i love places that completely extinguish the concept of time. it feels like days go by but theyre just minutes.. and nobody really cares either way. what’s funny is you may not know what time is it but for some reason you have a better chance of getting the gist of what the weather is like. when im in this happy place its like i disappear for a few days in complete bliss. i can afford to disappear. to wake up whenever, smoke a sweet joint, and eat a nice lavish brunch with amazing people. i feel free, relaxed, sometimes adored. it’s a nice warm place to be in. its a nice way to live. if i could live like that for the rest of my life i feel like i would be content. of course i wouldnt commit to that, seeing that so much changes in a year.
after a long thanksgiving weekend full of indulgence, i ran away to this spot to get away from student loans, deadlines, work, etc. i came and i literally slept the entire time. when i fall asleep it feels like how i fell asleep in my parents bed when i was a kid. just sleep.
its funny how we can be so sure about something at one moment, but personal experiences and time has the absolute ability to completely flip that perspective.. i feel like i’ve spent so much of my life indecisive, unsure. but this feeling that i have about life, feels so secure. so content. so hopeful. people notice. they tell me i’m so full of life. its a real compliment. ive never been so sure.