meh.

Imageuninspired. stuck in limbo. no feel for direction. nobody to truly confide in. as the weeks go on i feel lonelier. i feel nothing. i find myself looking at uplifting posts on reddit just to feel some sort of happiness. i dont feel happy but i dont feel terrible. i just feel regular. no desire to go out and socialize. my insecurities continue to engulf me. i find myself saying less. cutting my hair, making meaningless trips out of town. spending mass amounts of cash for nothing. going out, having these meaningless conversations with people that don’t intrigue me in the slightest. i lie to them. because all they do is say “me too.” nothing amazes me anymore. the guard is coming back up. i feel incredibly empty. need something to fill the void. no desire to better my career or the position im in. i feel as though im just waiting. this wave of laziness and boredom worries me. then again i have no desire to fix it. i just figure one day ill wake up and ill want to fix it. for now i just lay in bed. and scroll through my phone. thinking about the things i want and how easily attainable they are. i know its just a matter of improving your state of mind. and so i sit and wait until this chemical imbalance works itself out. and perhaps then ill go back to living this saturated world of color and wonder.

 

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