Putting this into the universe

Processed with VSCO with c1 presetI hope to find my life intention soon. To find a job that will allow me to flourish creatively. To find a creative community that nourishes me mentally and spiritually. To get that salary bump that I’ve been vying for the past few months. To crack that life cheat code that I’ve been trying to figure out for the past four years. To find that job that respects me as a working creative. I want to challenge myself in a healthy way.

“After much consideration, we have unfortunately….”

UnknownNothing beats a Monday morning like a smooth, casual rejection letter via email.

Another one bites the dust. It almost feels like I’m growing immune to these emails. Huge bummer, but life goes on. I’ve been really trying to shift my focus of every situation.

Yeah I’m having car issues…. but I can be thankful that I have insurance to cover up some. And also some money saved up if need be.

Yeah I’ve been on the job hunt for months now and still haven’t gotten the offer I vie for….but I can be thankful that companies are even taking the time to invite me in for an interview. Also that I still have a job (that allows me to go on these midday interviews)…

Yeah management at my current job sucks and there’s definite nepotism going on.… but I can be thankful that it provides me with decent health insurance.

A huge majority of my stress has stemmed from me comparing myself to others. This year, I’d like to focus on myself. Enjoying the now, not worrying about the later. One major thing that I’ve noticed about this blog is that I never really give myself credit for the current wins. I tend to focus on the past, or worry about the things that haven’t happened yet as “Past Me” would have expected of “Current Me”.

It’s much easier said than done. The concept is incredibly simple. We hear it all the time. Live in the now. The present is a gift. And yet the complexity of our mind takes us through different dimensions that demand more than what the present can really provide us. I might even just blame all of this on the internet being so resourceful, and social media being so crucial our everyday living. Our screens showing us the (unrealistic) lives of celebrities and even people we know. It’s easy to get lost in a world where all you need to do is scroll to see more, to enrich yourself temporarily.

I sound like an old bag. And I haven’t written anything in months. Apologies in advance. I hope that whoever reads this blog will be inspired to see things differently. There is absolutely no one way to look at things.

And rejection is good for you. It hurts like shit the first few times, then after a while you realize there is a greater power within you. It’s the growth you need. At least, for me. These aren’t missed opportunities, they just aren’t the ones right for you. I’ve developed this strange inner peace these past few months. And it goes on and off periodically. One day I’ll feel like I have my life together, the other I feel like shaking the etcha-sketch and starting it all over. The crumbling self doubt, constantly comparing myself to others. Overlooking my accomplishments. Completely missing the bigger picture. It took me time to actually realize none of these worries fucking matter, they do only if you let it. It’s such a simple concept. And I see people preaching this all the time. And I’ve tried telling myself this numerous times, convincing myself I’m bigger than all of this. But I didn’t really accept it until I endured rejection and lived through it. It’s all a learning process, and I unfortunately learn at a much slower pace. But such is life I suppose.